tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20291868804964095182024-03-21T14:39:13.280-07:00bobs&bitsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-45060358207219872052011-04-01T02:21:00.001-07:002011-04-01T02:25:46.721-07:00Gutted..Gutted is not the word. It doesnt fully express how completely let down I feel by a company I thought was different. I lost my job last Friday. The guy in charge of recruitment let me and my friend (another part timer) go with only a week's notice. Which neither of usworked might I add. This is a small but flourishing company that I had made plans with after uni. I have finished my lectures and obviously need something full time and after speaking to the guy who owns it he said he was "very keen" to talk about this. Two weeks later I'm gone. No financial security and no means of getting a flat. I have two months to recify this. To think that I might be working in a cafe with an English degree hurts a lot. Especially because I had discarded my PGCE interviews in light of this new hope. This is quite unlike me to put all my eggs in one basket which shows how unaware I was of the impending circumstances. I am sad to be leaving a few friends I made and to be back at square one when I smugly thought I had a plan unlike many UK graduates.<br /><br />Back to square one. How I am going to leap onto square two I have no idea.<br /><br />Over and out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-12257172241231976932011-02-20T03:52:00.000-08:002011-02-20T03:57:35.416-08:00Yum Yum<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPVW7N5Yu4pAw_bO3-QQflMEOqoQRCoYRoWEB4cbdtGtCz652s-IMgzbLhyaxZS4K90-GWB0JDbdnWDHeP8HqZkVP33krIk2kIJp0LeaPCgb6XjflShXGW8wJcQaUmT1MSXZglR2M8-jU/s1600/fry+u%255B.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 223px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPVW7N5Yu4pAw_bO3-QQflMEOqoQRCoYRoWEB4cbdtGtCz652s-IMgzbLhyaxZS4K90-GWB0JDbdnWDHeP8HqZkVP33krIk2kIJp0LeaPCgb6XjflShXGW8wJcQaUmT1MSXZglR2M8-jU/s320/fry+u%255B.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5575739620372068770" /></a><br />I have had a brilliant weekend with my fab work mates. i never thought I could enjoy a job so much and get on with the people so well! I have made an executive decision not to go into teaching and crossing my fingers (and toes) that something amazing might come up instead... Hung out with a couple of comedians after the show and had some generally crazy times at the Vic in the city centre.<br />Went to watch Paul last night. It was a good movie, I was totally zoned out from extreme tiredness but it pulled in a few laughs!<br />Thought about a theme for my poetry anthology "Best of British". I'm currently trying to write a poem on a fried breakfast... but it's only making me hungry.<br />Over and out for now! xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-28713912115937460492011-02-14T07:41:00.000-08:002011-02-14T07:59:11.120-08:00Writer's Block<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlugVqI08E4-8a8aLGMwvT2EudO5qTCwe3iAG6YUdOPDooaIX8Nshn89nTunzg9h59cqr-qxkJUqtjbO0YUi-eOpxJuSxqz8LtJ1I3HFO8Larhwcwr15j9yB1eUUDqDePtc0EgLGpnsUI/s1600/secrets.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlugVqI08E4-8a8aLGMwvT2EudO5qTCwe3iAG6YUdOPDooaIX8Nshn89nTunzg9h59cqr-qxkJUqtjbO0YUi-eOpxJuSxqz8LtJ1I3HFO8Larhwcwr15j9yB1eUUDqDePtc0EgLGpnsUI/s320/secrets.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573575384297742482" /></a><br />Attempting to write poetry. For a book I don’t even want to write. Never been less inspired so I find myself on here again. Always promising to write more but always distracted. When I’m happy I forget to write, caught up in my own bubble of ecstasy. When I’m down I want to sick all of my thoughts out. Especially when there is no one here to talk to. Everyone is at work. Busy. <br />Yesterday, as I was getting ready to go to bed I checked my Facebook account once more before shutting down and the email icon blinked at me. I had mail. Now two Sundays ago the same thing happened about 10.30 pm and it was a message from my old friend Kim telling me my college friend Ian had died. I am starting to get more dubious about late night messages. I opened it and just blinked and read “from: Carly Newman” and the words “hope you don’t mind me emailing but...” on the title page. I knew instantly who she was. Although I’d only ever known her as just Carly. My half sister. Katie’s half sister too. My dad had a little girl when he was just 19. Afterwards he broke it off and met my mum, the rest is history.<br /> Me and Kate weren’t told a lot. Protected is one word, but eventually everything must come to the surface. If I’m honest with you my head is still a little fucked up from the whole drama of my dad leaving my mum last year. This is one thing I don’t need right now. She was lovely in her email and we chatted a bit. Imagine my surprise when I found out she lives in the same town as me. So not only did I have another sister, we had most probably passed each other in the street without knowing. I feel so bloody sorry for her, being rejected by your father must be heart breaking. I’m obviously caught up still getting over my own situation and trying to resist the temptation to punch my father in the face after what he’s done to my mum. What makes it worse is that she still bumps into my Aunt and Uncle on my dad’s side and chats with them. She’s gone to visit my loopy gran – my dad’s mum - who I have never even met. She knows about me, what I’m up to. She even knew about our family situation. Yes, Banbury is a small place but to find out that she knows my history is strange when I know nothing of her. It also drags up the past for my mum. I’d never do anything to hurt her and would never ever jeopardise our relationship for anything. I’m sure she understands Carly’s curiosity. Anyone would want to find out about siblings, it’s a damn sight better than phoning Jeremy Kyle to help. So here it is. Hopefully the final piece in a very complex jigsaw. I don’t know if I’ll ever know everything about my dad and it breaks my heart. Every time I see people simply having coffee with their dad or chatting normally about them breaks me a little bit. A year ago that was me but now everything I’ve ever known has been turned on its head and I’ve never been so confused in my life. It seems the older I’m getting the more crap is surfacing. There has been a lot of death recently, not just Ian but a big character from uni. I’ve also been turned down from Wolverhampton for my PGCE so this is kind o the final straw right now. Just had to splurge this or I’ll take it out on someone who doesn’t deserve it later.<br /><br />Oh happy Valentines day :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-14934786326323596162011-01-14T14:10:00.001-08:002011-01-14T14:14:24.208-08:00Like a fat kid loves cakeThats how much I'm lovin' it. More than a Chicken Legend meal. <br />Got my Christmas pay cheque today. This is the first time in my life I'm excited to save money. I must be growing up! I cant wait to buy furniture and things for our new flat! I'm really enjoying this job, they treat their staff amazingly well and I think I'll find it hard to leave if I get a place on a PGCE. I'd love to stay to be honest but I just dont know what the right thing to do is!<br /><br />Was going to spend a small fortune on my uni books for this term. Until I found all of them in the library... score!<br />Lokoing forward to tomorrow, going to have arelaxed shopping trip in town hopefully looking at furntiure at this discount place in Digbeth and also squeeze a few vinatge shops in too :) Cannt wait to wear my new polka dot dress out tomorrow night. Fun FUN!<br />Life is gooood :)<br />xxUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-43975730727253201432011-01-02T14:07:00.000-08:002011-01-02T14:19:56.589-08:00Tooting BecI've been wanting to drop that underground name in my blog for a while but just never find the right moment. The moment is now. Tooting Bec. I love it!<br />Onto new things. I'm still writing this darned David Lynch essay. I've totally veered off the subject of horror movies and just gone on and on and on about how great and original David Lynch is. Then something terrible happened. I tried to watch my third and final move for the essay. Mulholland Drive. I fell asleep. I thought I'd finally found something to be passionate about but it turns out I am far to fickle to be interested in anything for too long. I still hope to get round to watching it, and I've successfuly managed to write about it without watching the last half of it. There's so much on the internet I think its the people jizzing over him constantly which put me off. <br />I' very VERY excited, me and Chris are looking at flats. Only six months to go until we have our own place! We are looking at Walsall, you can get a gorgeous TWO bedroom flat for about £400 pcm. Bargain! We've found a lovely one in a converted mill but I'll let you know how that goes. Chris wants a balcony to grow vegetables. That is all.<br /> <br />I'm back on the writing. This always happens. Zero inspiration then BAM it all comes together. The story is below, I hope you enjoy it. It's needing a bit of tweaking but the eager beaver I am I will post it to you now. Enjoy :)<br /><br /><br />“Say goodnight to Frances” I sighed a breath so slight. Little Ruby made me kiss the doll’s nose. I was familiar with its cool black plastic, more so than with my husband’s soft, once welcoming lips. I kissed it every night under her inspection making sure I had shown Frances enough love. I felt more affection from this china doll than Michael. It was this house. I was sure of it. It was too secluded. The north wind always chilled it and the house shuddered under the blasting gales. It was hardly the most comfortable environment for raising our new family. Or maybe it was his new job. He was under a lot of stress, as he kept telling me. I caught my reflection in the landing window as I went to our bedroom. The once fine lines which crinkled from too much laughter in my twenties now deepened. They framed my eyes which sunk into the dull pallor which greyed my face. Instead of bright blue, my eyes were now a paler shade of grey. The sea air was meant to be good for you. Instead I felt the salt stick to me and itch.<br />I stopped on the landing at our bedroom door. Michael was hunched over his laptop sat opposite the doorway on the bed. I didn’t say a word but his posture made it quite clear I wasn’t welcome. His tanned face beamed back at me from the photograph over his shoulder in front of him on the dresser. I had caught him laughing on holiday. I was pregnant with Ruby and we were happier than we’d ever been. It was all going so well for us. Then I had Ruby. He loved her, sure. It was just. I turned back towards the stairs to pinch myself. People said it all changed when you had a child. The dynamics were different. You weren’t young free and single anymore. This was normal. We were normal. I headed downstairs for a glass of red wine.<br />Michael joined me later. Our new house lacked character although it was an old Victorian cottage. It should have been woven with secret crevices but instead stood bear staring blankly at me with cracks in the white paint from damp, I was sure. Its dark corners half filled with shadows even on a sunny day. I had tried to cheer it up with vases of flowers and paintings of vivid colours but it always felt cold. “Are you okay?” Michael asked me. It was a question but it begged not to be delved into too deeply. “I’m okay” I replied, trying to soften my voice. “Are you okay?” He just looked back at me and said “yes”. That was the extent of our conversation. We sat quietly on our new sofas, sunk into its soft cream leather. I went to move closer, to rest my head on Michael’s shoulder. The squeak of the leather under my jeans awkwardly stuck to the material. My glass knocked on my knee and tipped and I spilled a drop of wine. It hit the cream and ran down like a crimson tear and hit the carpet. Michael jumped up at once. I knew he’d be angry. He said nothing. I wish he’d have shouted it was easier than silence. Silence hurt my ears more somehow. He walked slowly to the adjoining kitchen and grabbed the green sponge. He scrubbed the red stain but it wouldn’t move. He gave up and with the same bad posture he climbed the stairs like a man on death row.<br />Morning came. I watched it approach through the slats of the blinds. I couldn’t wait to take Ruby to the park to play. I knew Frances would want to come too. “I’m going to take Ruby to the park today sweetheart” Michael appeared from the bathroom, steam rose from his broad shoulders as he patted his legs dry. “Okay.” It was all he said. And we almost held eye contact for a split second. As if he couldn’t care less. Well his mind was probably at the office already. He looked exhausted, his dark eyebrows shadowed over his hazel eyes, those eyes I hadn’t make a proper connection with in so long. They avoided mine. I looked at our dresser. There were the photos of our lovely Ruby. How could he act so careless? Time was so precious at this age.<br />I lathered up my body and scrubbed with the soft brush. My stretch marks glittered in the stream of water. Silver lines crinkled over the skin of my empty stomach. It had all been worth it. The rest of my skin remained tight under the water, still youthful. The drops ran off quickly, escaping, they blurred into each other. No drop was on its own. They swam together over me.<br />I heard a scream that split the water drops on my arms apart. The hairs rose and my skin pimpled as the screaming grew louder. It was Ruby, I skidded out of the shower and pulled my dressing gown on still soaked wet and tore into her room. Nothing. She was sat in the corner of her cot looking straight at me. Her blue eyes shone and her red hair glowed like it always had.<br />***<br />It was a day in December. The kind where if the sun is on your back anything is possible as it massages your knots. When you turn a corner it disappears and you’re frozen. I could see on Ruby’s face and her little white hands that she was cold when the sun beams hid from her. “Wrap up Frances please” she asked. I leaned over and pulled the blue fleece up to their chins and carried on pushing them in the old buggy. I could see their two heads bobbing with the motion of the pram, both faces staring straight ahead. The wheel stuck in a pot hole and jerked the two forward but they didn’t seem to mind. I brought the two to the swings. They seemed to enjoy it. One swing for Frances. One for Ruby. Frances was light and didn’t go up as high as my little girl. Ruby’s red coat contrasted against the clear blue sky powdered with light cloud every time she ascended. No sense of fear, she giggled as she swung higher and higher. I pushed. I was stood behind pushing harder and harder. Her red coat flowed; I didn’t want her to stop. Seeing her this happy made me happy. I used all my strength and pushed once more. Her tiny body swung forward, the chain slacked at the top and jerked the swing back making her tiny figure distort and fold over on itself. Her forehead hit the rubber front of the swing. I watched as it lost momentum. Slowly, slowly it stopped. I took Ruby and Frances pushed them back into the pram took them over to the slide. They had fun. Ruby smiled and so did Frances. We had a good day.<br />The evening played out as usual. Red wine for me as I waited for the half hour Michael would join me for. He came down, I looked up at him as he sat down but as usual he avoided my eyes. “We had fun at the park today” I said, I turned my head and his eyes flickered towards mine. “Good” Michael was glad we had fun. I hope he hadn’t forgotten Ruby’s birthday tomorrow. I had wrapped her presents all ready to open. They were secretly stored in my half of the wardrobe. Michael would not be happy if he knew how much I had spent and what I had bought. I bought lots of lovely clothes to dress her up in. She would look lovely.<br /><br />It was her third birthday. Three years of my darling in the world. I couldn’t wait for her friends to arrive. I set the table. Five places. Each with a little tea cup and a saucer. A small plate with a miniature knife and fork just the right size for little hands. I thought to set this all up while Ruby was having her nap. I folded little flower printed napkins in half triangles. Screaming hit my ears once more. It shattered through the follicles and the hairs on my neck. It pierced through the skin of my lobes and splintered my ear drums. I dropped the tiny silver knife and split a delicate tea cup in half. I ran, becoming unstuck from the floor and took the stairs two at a time and reached the door. As I twisted the knob silence rushed towards me. Ruby was sat in the corner of her cot. Her blue eyes shone and her red hair glowed like it always had.<br />I replaced the broken tea cup and placed all of Ruby’s friends around the table. They were happy to be there, they were all smiling. I placed Ruby at the head of the small white wooden table. There was a knock at the door. There were no more guests. I had not invited anyone else. I approached the door and saw Michaels figure through the blurred glass panels, I could see the outline of his features as they melted each other. His brows furrowed as I clicked open the door. An attempted smile flashed over his lips as he held a small posy for me. I took the flowers and stepped aside for him to enter. I wasn’t sure what to say but the gesture spoke the words I had been waiting for. Maybe things would get better.<br />We cleared up the tea party and Michael even helped me wash the little plates and cutlery up. I sunk my hands into the bubbles and picked out a tiny fork. Gently scrubbing it we stood side by side. The atmosphere already felt better between us. I handed the miniature fork over and he patted it dry. Sinking my hands back into the water my hand felt a sharp pain as a clutched an object under the water. I brought my hand up and saw I had grabbed the broken tea cup. Blood spilt out of my soft palm and mixed with the washing water and onto the bubbles turning them a light pink. The cut was deep as I’d held the cup tightly. Michael grabbed at my hand as I became mesmerised with the flow. Such a rich red and my arm quickly turned red to my elbow and the blood mixed with the water. A scream. But now it was me screaming. I heard my own voice with my own ears but it seemed detached somehow. I heard a noise. A scream higher than mine, like glass shattering. I tried to wriggle free of Michael’s hold but he would let me go. “Can’t you hear the screaming Mike? Can’t you hear her? Let me go I need to see her!” As I twisted my wrist it pulled open the gash and blood flowed more heavily. He was trying to hold me still to wrap a towel round my hand. It was not as important as checking that my Ruby was okay. I let all my energy rip through me and pulled my wrist as hard as I could to get free. I pulled and it ripped the cut further but spinning on my heels to run up the stairs would be worth it. I sprinted two steps at a time running towards the screaming. I crashed open the white bedroom door and there was Ruby staring back at me. Her lips were sewn together but still the noise reverberated in my ears. She must be doing it. Screaming with her lips closed. I ran to her cot and picked her up. My bloodied hand smeared on her white night dress and I shook her. Gently at first but the screaming didn’t stop. I shook her again, my hands joined together and squeezed round her tiny waist and didn’t stop until Michael reached me and grabbed me round my hips. I tumbled taking Ruby with me. In the few seconds I was falling I clutched her into my chest curling my fingers around her delicate skull to protect her from smashing into a million pieces like a precious vase. I landed on the floor with a huge crash and the screams stopped. I held Ruby from my breast and looked into her glassy eyes, she was okay. No cuts or bruises that I could see. Michael pulled me to my feet with my good hand. He looked angry like I’d never seen him before. All of the good feeling between us dissipated and had never existed. His eyes filled with a red mist and he flung Ruby back into her cot. She smashed into the wooden bars splintering. Bile rose in my throat at seeing his violence enter her. I suddenly remembered the pain in my hand and my light head drifted as I hit the floor again.<br />***<br />Bright lights stung my sensitive eyes as a colour brighter than white woke me from my sleep. The starchy sheets felt unfamiliar to my finger tips and as I struggled to pull my eyelids apart the smell of a strong disinfectant hit my nostrils. He was here. Michael sat outside this white room on a plastic chair. He turned towards me. Looked me in the eye and smiled. I thought I was imagining it at first but he definitely smiled at me. He stood up and came through the door. “You lost a lot of blood yesterday, gave me such a fright.” I pulled my hand out from beneath the sheets, it was bandaged up with thick white cotton soothing the dull ache. My head thumped a little mimicking my beating heart. “It’s time to go home sweetheart” Michael smiled down on me and helped me swivel so I was sat up. “They you kept in overnight for observation but you’re okay to come home now.” He helped me to my feet and I slipped on my black plimsolls. I briefly combed my fingers through my red hair and looked at myself in the small mirror on the wall. Nothing too dramatic, a bit paler than usual but my red hair glowed and my blue eyes shone like they always had.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-23876891734376764522010-12-15T01:20:00.000-08:002010-12-15T01:27:15.793-08:00Closing doors & Opening new onesYesterday I finally found closure in something that has been bugging me. Yes it hurts but I feel so much better this morning about it. Today is a new day.<br />I am going to spend the whole day writing my essay and possibly tweaking my short story for assessment. It's always the way. I worry too much about the essay that I hardly put any effort into my short stories which is a shame. I'm going to try and juggle both. The fact that I'm enjoying the research for this essay is a good sign at least!<br />Christmas is coming up and I've never felt so stressed in my life. I think when youve got a boyfriend or girlfriend the stress seems to double. Now you have to see two lots of people and squeeze the visits into the short christmas break you have. Now I have three weeks off over chrsitmas. A 4000 essay to write. A short story to create. My sister's birthday. My boyfriends family and of coursemy own family to fir it. I dont resent seeing my own family at all. I love them and would spend a month there quite happilly. Its just the thought of organising it all that makes my stomach ache and sink. Along with this I agreed to work three days which totally messed up the plans to see the inlaws oops. Why is it sucha big fat mess for one bloody day of the year? I just want to see my family, go home and stuff my face. It should be so simple! I never wanted to be part of the masses who get stressed over the festive season but it seems compulsary!<br />Must get on and create a masterpiece. I will post my short story up here when it's done.<br />Love and festive smiles!xxUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-20843539268511198692010-12-12T09:54:00.000-08:002010-12-12T09:59:38.245-08:00She wore blue velvet...I'm always saying "oh I'm not into films" to people whenever they ask me what films I like. I find it incredibly boring to be in someones company and spend the time silent watching a movie or an entire series of a tv programme. However I've recently discovered that i AM into films. just not new ones. Ive got a major obsession spawning at the moment for David Lynch. I've only seen Blue Velvet and Lost Highway but man are they worth a watch. That man is crazy. I need to dig out more of his stuff. I'm even writing my mahooosive essay on him.<br />We've been watching a few oldies in Film studies class recently and granted - ive not enjoyed them all. In fact i HATE mellodrama but Lynch... now he is a director I can get on with. along with Hitchcock who needs no explaining there.<br />I am happy to have discovered a love for at least SOME films in the world. I cannot abide new releases but still have a little thing for horror films - old or new.<br />Its got to be a quick post, I'm off to an accoustic session at the Yard Bird for a few drinks and a Sunday night chill.<br /><br />Over and out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-13105359943420417902010-11-23T04:58:00.000-08:002010-11-23T05:12:06.245-08:00It seems like the dark days are over. Now I dont want to come over a little emo on you but I think after what was possibly the hardest year of my life I've finally come through. I feel good. In fact I feel more than good, I feel bloody brilliant.<br />I'm going to start reading again and writing again (this included) I feel like I've got my passion for life back. Hell, I've even got a job. I didnt think I'd be up to working again after I stormed out of my last one because the stuff with my dad made me burst into tears evey 5 minutes. Now I'm no expert but I dont think employers like that!<br />I've been thinking a lot about things, and have realised a few bits about myself. I wish I could apologise to so many people for acting like a total dick(even as far back as school), and what probably came across as very irrational. Now my dad is out of my life at the moment things have become clearer and I realise that he put a few things in my head which I'm trying to clear out now. I think the best decision I made was to move to Birmingham for university. But even then he had a hold on me. And the rest of my family. Only when he gets the help he needs for his head will I ever consider seeing him again. It's sad and I'm aware all of this probably doesnt make sense but I got the urge to write and that is what this blog is for. <br />So for now, I just needed to confirm to myself that I am truely happy. My mother is the most amazing, strong person, and me an my wee sis are closer than we've ever been.<br />I've met some great people up here, hopefully friends I will have for a long time, and one amazing boyfriend who for the two years we have been together has brought me out of my shell, opened my eyes and made me feel alive. So I will be forever grateful to him, and his patience with me! I know we're going to have an amazing future.<br /><br />Now thats all out I will continue soon with updates, fiction and general daily observations!<br />Lots of happy vibes xxxUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-26562645091040804742010-10-02T04:05:00.000-07:002010-10-02T04:08:04.802-07:00A true reflection?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE-kOKQq5_ZtG_IvX81Iv1eGTxt0wYSDHD2_hyq2vw-aZvWq1MnvrE2XU0-Qz1X4rWmEMA7gqSAJE7BLTihxlOYalfEWHQY7H_O9FjHDhHZhhQuHcDGnLgcEfmmm6zw4iJEUM_F-j3eOc/s1600/woman_silhouette.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 90px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE-kOKQq5_ZtG_IvX81Iv1eGTxt0wYSDHD2_hyq2vw-aZvWq1MnvrE2XU0-Qz1X4rWmEMA7gqSAJE7BLTihxlOYalfEWHQY7H_O9FjHDhHZhhQuHcDGnLgcEfmmm6zw4iJEUM_F-j3eOc/s200/woman_silhouette.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523403865907238658" /></a><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">A short story written for class. Hope you enjoy!</span><br /><br />A true reflection?<br />The hot smell of human bodies hit me on the quiet train. How odd for it to have smelled so pungent when my carriage was half empty. The smell implied a bustle before my arrival. It lingered and with it the sense of hysteria only present on overcrowded public transport and the war for a seat. Taking a place quite comfortably next to the window I heaved a sigh as the floor heaters started to warm and relax my ankles. They kneaded the frozen fingerprints of the lashing rain outside. I wiggled my toes and embraced heat lapping at the sore calluses in my cheap mules outworn a long time ago, even raising and arching my foot so every inch could be embraced. I admired the shoes opposite mine. So close for a stranger’s foot to be. Too comfortable in its place next to mine. I became aware of my obvious pleasure from the electric heaters and a flush hit my face. The shoes teased mine; they were a beautiful deep red with a gold buckle winking at me. The huge black heel rose up to a delicate ankle. They had a personality of their own in the grey carriage. I drew my eyes up to meet the knees which settled a few inches from mine. The two pairs rocked back and forth with momentum. They were by no means dainty. Clothed in black hosiery of a low denier, a few hairs were visible which broke through the knit. The carriage jerked and our knees knocked together, her black tights pushed against my worn denim. I’m sure I felt her push harder than the trains movement had warranted. I snapped my head up to apologise. Not sure if I would be speaking of the knock or the way I had stared. <br />My eyes lay on her face, my mouth open ready to announce but it dried in an instant. Her face matched mine, teasing like the shoes that grounded her. She let me stare, taking her in piece by piece. She was my reflection and I admired her closely. She had the single wiry hair that jutted from the left eyebrow. Stupidly missed this morning from a rushed pluck. Her manicured hands with acrylic nails woven together bared the resemblance of mine, grown up yet had not lost their childish softness.<br />I wanted to touch her; I couldn’t quite believe the image in front of me. I needed to hold her. As if feeling my pleas her eyes invited me to her body. She said nothing. Her smudged red lipstick made no attempt to verbalise. With my hand I simply rested the tips of my fingers on her forearm. Her body temperature mimicked mine and the soft downy hairs felt familiar. She was an airbrushed me, a beautiful me. At first glance she appeared beautiful. As I looked harder I could see the layer of paint which had sunk into the wrinkles, trying to conceal them. A few fresh red scars on her neck were revealed by her loosened silk scarf. I moved my hand up and the sensation of nausea hit me as my hands lay upon her upper arm. Sat on the edge of my seat, her scent filled me. Too heavily musky and floral. With a sickly sweet undertone.<br /> I had been so accepting of this figure but it was too unreal. I wanted her away but I also wanted to take her in, ask her to live for me. The reality of what was happening hit me and the heat around my ankles now felt too hot. Its sticky fingers grabbed me, a thumb dug deep not permitting any movement. I had to look at her. Is this what I could be? I yearned for her but simultaneously wanted to run. I was now twisting my ankles writhing away from the hot hands, it hurt but I needed to escape. One ankle bid to freedom and the other one with it soon after. I stood up, tore my eyes away and ran to the safety of the carriage toilet. It was only now I realised all other passengers had departed. We were alone. <br />I threw myself inside the safety of the hot tin box. The musty smell of chemical toilet rose bile in my throat and I emptied in into the basin. Splashing my face with the warm water I didn’t care that my stomach contents were mixing with it and running through my fingers. I let the water run down my face onto the old white t-shirt and joined the stains that held their place presently. I reached into my dirty pocket and found the business card reading “Sam’s Girls” with the black silhouette of a naked woman prominent in the foreground. The temptation to call the number now sickened me and I flushed it away and watched the train suck it into the dark hole. Claustrophobia overwhelmed me and I had to leave the safety of my hideaway.<br /> I opened the door and air felt surprisingly refreshing. I looked down to where I had been sat. Empty. She had gone. I went over, the seat was still warm. Resting on the head of the chair was a most unusual butterfly. It looked like it had been sewn from black silk with the appliqué of red rose petals for decoration. It bared gold flecks and stretched its wings towards me. The train arrived at my destination. I had to forget her. I pressed the cool steel button to depart and the butterfly followed, rose through the door with me and towards the sun until it was no longer visible.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-39903800862095368782010-09-23T01:09:00.000-07:002010-09-23T01:26:32.461-07:00Eat it up!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgakr-El9m_4aw9Yy8JtagDj3G10R-lxEyEch1hAcRau1DWKtdNpIUIHsjy74m2Vvx1GkeSZuWi3GXnQAzeU3T6SRVzfu8baNLXnEZwvsjix-5LEbzLOpeqQAuS1GlSktdR3PJmhWAyJFM/s1600/first_floor_bar.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 158px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgakr-El9m_4aw9Yy8JtagDj3G10R-lxEyEch1hAcRau1DWKtdNpIUIHsjy74m2Vvx1GkeSZuWi3GXnQAzeU3T6SRVzfu8baNLXnEZwvsjix-5LEbzLOpeqQAuS1GlSktdR3PJmhWAyJFM/s200/first_floor_bar.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5520018584936896578" /></a><br /><br />Sipping fancy cocktails and listening to the enchanting voice of Eliza Little as she sings about JLS at the charming Island Bar is just what the doctor ordered on a rainy Thursday night. Chilling out on a squishy sofa with mates along with fantastic music at a reasonable price is what Eat it up Presents is all about. Ant, Amy and Josh set the group up themselves with the ambition of bringing great bands and artists together in appealing venues around Birmingham. Sometimes it is easy to get drawn into the fun bright lights of the city and spend your nights at the same night clubs with the same playlists every week. But, if you want a change it is difficult to know what else is out there however Eat it Up provides the perfect nugget to fill this gap. <br />Not sticking to a particular genre, the gig I attended was a quiet acoustic night but the guys tell me they have put on lively rock nights and buzzing indie gigs too with lots more planned for the coming year to look forward to. Ant has his own personal aims within the group and says “I like the thought of sharing music gems I’ve found and really enjoyed with everyone else.” Amy agrees “I’m not into nightclubs, the only place I’ve found in Birmingham to cater to my tastes is the O2 academy, but we want to showcase other acts and provide a great night.” And I can honestly say I had a fabulous night. I went on my own to meet the guys and was welcomed into a friendly atmosphere and saw some great artists. One that stood out in particular was Tom George who hushed the whole room into a silence and performed with no microphone creating an atmosphere that prickled... until the barman dropped a glass...<br />There’s a lot more on this small team’s agenda for the year ahead and I think you’d be missing out if you didn’t check out their goings on. It sounds like they’re plotting and planning some really good nights. The gig I attended was declared as their most successful yet, and it can only get better from here.<br />You can join their facebook page and keep tabs on their whereabouts and where they will be holding their next gigs. There are rumours of the Victoria and the Island Bar again, which if you haven’t been there already I highly recommend for yummy concoctions and live music events. Plus cocktails are half price before 8pm on weekdays so what are you waiting for? Get your student butts down there and enjoy!<br /><br />facebook.com/eatituppromotionsUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-89176970210511412342010-09-06T07:30:00.000-07:002010-09-06T07:42:12.454-07:00Greetings & Hola<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjON5lRl2B1TyibfS-OSi3aVBmDlLrsldCX-e6eI0zZ37l9l6tIGONA_2oxLNRGgC3SfLWkL5x3N0fWIN9XSOIvmSxn5jedLiWn4E46wfWFu1NoHY2BBxxSYX736M8RxdUhUGOK-3ZaC4E/s1600/DSCF0018.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 52px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjON5lRl2B1TyibfS-OSi3aVBmDlLrsldCX-e6eI0zZ37l9l6tIGONA_2oxLNRGgC3SfLWkL5x3N0fWIN9XSOIvmSxn5jedLiWn4E46wfWFu1NoHY2BBxxSYX736M8RxdUhUGOK-3ZaC4E/s200/DSCF0018.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513810131543252066" /></a><br />Well I guess I have had a summer break from this bad boy as well as everything else. I wanted to use my three months off to totally chill and I think it has been achieved! I have just got back from visiting Spain. We stayed in Calella and also saw Barcelona for the day. It was a great break, no chavs and not too many old people. Come to think of it, hardly any English people which I think made the week fabulous. Nothing worse than hearing Terry and Sheila arguing over a mojito. It's all happening guys, I am off to Scotland with Chris for eight nights. I am on the edge of my seat! Four nights in Edinburgh, then four in a wee place called Perth, which is the perfect location to explore the beautiful countryside and dalwhinnie, where all the best whisky is made! I'm so excited, always wanted to go up to the land of the Scots. My mum is from Aberdeen and I cant believe I've not been up that way before. Everything is grand in boo-land at the moment so I'm very happy. Written a few bits for Spaghetti Junction, should be applying for my PGCE very soon and generally feeling fabulous.<br />Will now keep this up to date as I am out of my summer cocoon!<br /><br />So long, fair well... aufweidersehn goodbyeeeeee!<br /><br />xxUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-48005263310800944252010-06-19T11:00:00.000-07:002010-06-19T11:08:11.010-07:00Migranes and Mumpyness<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi133sE7Gc_sPHSWzHlHTMArD0p3mf2D54BC0v_9IAariNym6LiAHeKF9vBibi6mcTUSZ13yFxL0_Wu3lV3qypewqZpW0ZSeXF-78BmTJkWUbaAeCnJfMKjPrPEZZ38s1BnzPmVNdKJnOk/s1600/Oceanic+Tranquility,+Water+Turtles.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi133sE7Gc_sPHSWzHlHTMArD0p3mf2D54BC0v_9IAariNym6LiAHeKF9vBibi6mcTUSZ13yFxL0_Wu3lV3qypewqZpW0ZSeXF-78BmTJkWUbaAeCnJfMKjPrPEZZ38s1BnzPmVNdKJnOk/s200/Oceanic+Tranquility,+Water+Turtles.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5484547959535894066" /></a><br />Tommorrow is Mootie's birthday yay! Mother dearest deserves the best and I hope we've got her the lovliest things she can imagine! <br /><br />Feeling like a poo poo platter this evening. Managed to get a cold (probably from the local leisure centre's manky sauna) and just not feeling particularly good. Remind me to never work in a pub EVER. Both my boyfriend and sister have/are experiencing this and they treat you like utter crap. Like I said in my previous blog. Work should be simple. I want to know when I finish and I want two days off to chill. End of.<br /><br />cougharama.<br /><br />GotmyLush goodies yesterday, I am yet to try the cleanser but I'm excited at the thought! Got a foot scrub which dyed my fingers green which was interesting. This post is wearing thin already, I ca sense it. I will write proper reviews of these products when I've used them all and can type coherently and non-depressingly.<br />I also want to start on shopping reviews of beauty products. I'm bored with just witty anecdotes of my day. I'll either keep this up or start a new one with a different theme!<br />Over and out xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-61873230765375842622010-06-16T11:49:00.000-07:002010-06-16T11:57:49.060-07:00Yummy Smells & Scrubbing Softly<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIH5zCwmln_82nKKU81qiXDYzz4bv4RsvRcSV0IzXhTf38vfptIB2mKOQvbagKs22NT4E7slioaKsO4i2cqUhyphenhyphen4AICMyVF-4TACV9EnJQsj1qzuPN0Z4yQ0meChK13EqWcgGyEvC80_6U/s1600/7036079.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIH5zCwmln_82nKKU81qiXDYzz4bv4RsvRcSV0IzXhTf38vfptIB2mKOQvbagKs22NT4E7slioaKsO4i2cqUhyphenhyphen4AICMyVF-4TACV9EnJQsj1qzuPN0Z4yQ0meChK13EqWcgGyEvC80_6U/s200/7036079.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483447699952314098" /></a><br />Well what a loverly day. I've been making spelling cards to help a wee girl sound out words that shes struggles with and it was more fun than I thought it was! How sad am I? But overall lovely classes and I cant wait to get into teaching. I've never been majorly ambitious. Sure I'd love to travel amd see things but work-wise I want it to be simple, helping people and with lots of holidays! Makes sense! Plus it looks like lots of fun besides all the paper work everyone keeps telling me about.<br /><br />I just spend £20 on Lush's website. I dont know what came over me I dont usually buy these things online but I really cant be arsed to get to Oxford to get to my nearest shop. Problem solved and squeaky clean skin promised!<br /><br />I'm getting mother's old Raliegh shopper out later, still not managed to find my dream bike for a reasonable price baaaah :( I'll let you know how my bike hunt goes! I'd love to have a cycling holiday on the Isle of Wight soon so I want to invest in a pretty bike with a basket! (see previous blogs and pictures for my obsession with finding my dream Dutch bike:)<br /><br />Ta for now!xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-1091404794307560752010-06-08T11:52:00.000-07:002010-06-08T12:03:12.405-07:00Cheesecake & Broken Wrists<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4IYPvz-7MXsb1yQuLCTVMXwpHbg1b48klxibvYbHocJt37MyuHiByWw4KT4aj-S6xJ7UKfepChS8sWNhUgMYuPuVlW0Gq-PrNNxkXr5_4Yuf6ox1R32V0cp8aRpSzO7857dNPOJFFyPE/s1600/School.School+is+Cool.(SC1004).(1.92x3.29).7051.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4IYPvz-7MXsb1yQuLCTVMXwpHbg1b48klxibvYbHocJt37MyuHiByWw4KT4aj-S6xJ7UKfepChS8sWNhUgMYuPuVlW0Gq-PrNNxkXr5_4Yuf6ox1R32V0cp8aRpSzO7857dNPOJFFyPE/s200/School.School+is+Cool.(SC1004).(1.92x3.29).7051.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480480213604239778" /></a><br />Why does school bring out the worst in people? I'm sure whoever invented schools didn't picture a building of pure frustration and mayhem when he (I'll assume it was a 'he')layed the first brick.<br /><br />I cringe when I think back to things I did and said at school. If i saw myself now as a child at secondary school, doing the job I do now I would probably refer myself for counselling. I must have had issues, I was rude and have a sharp memory of throwing an apple in a girl's eye. No, I didnt like her much, but I couldnt be adult about it and ignore her, I had to throw an apple in her eye. Stil dont like her to this day but I feel awful for doing that! Not quite sure why but my apple throwing arm was possessed!<br /><br />There are kids now that I've seen lovely sides of and also their worst. It depends on the lesson they are in, surely this is wrong? How are there still teachers that wind a class up and lead the noisy ones into trouble? This affects their whole life and I'm not sure school is treated as seriously as it should be. It shaped me in many ways, with my temper, and my ability to completely cut people out of my life to never think about them again. I dont just say it I can do it with ease. Or should I say I COULD do it with ease. <br /><br />Due to recent changes in the family and university etc I've changed my outlook on life a lot. I give people a chance, I dont think everything si out to get me and that everyone is 99% asshole. thats just a bad attitude. I feel I have shed my bad attitude and feel alot lighter for it. School, I know influenced my bad bits a lot and I can really see it as I go back there every day and see bits of myself in kids that I work with. Scary stuff but its good for the soul.<br /><br />That's all folks, bit deep for a Tuesday night hey? Maybe its because I turned 21 on Thursday... God I hate Tuesdays, its just a funny old day!<br /><br />Bye for now lovers!<br /><br />xxUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-8173810067681178452010-05-27T12:59:00.000-07:002010-05-27T13:13:10.219-07:00Gosh & Darn it<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8puu2QHwrW1N2eOa0wkrY643fJVp10tJaRSN6P1QgabudorU9XZTmQ8RXC2nuCz_B3-Q7ebvA4GgtFMkK0wKWubPoV42YGtmqu4o5ol1J4WFfyYcrAPBi41-ya4muTkbbvHTR_L_ePr4/s1600/6a00d8341c7ed153ef00e553f7b0658834-500wi.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8puu2QHwrW1N2eOa0wkrY643fJVp10tJaRSN6P1QgabudorU9XZTmQ8RXC2nuCz_B3-Q7ebvA4GgtFMkK0wKWubPoV42YGtmqu4o5ol1J4WFfyYcrAPBi41-ya4muTkbbvHTR_L_ePr4/s200/6a00d8341c7ed153ef00e553f7b0658834-500wi.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476044778099220242" /></a><br />I HATE male drivers. Come to think of it i also hate female drivers. Driving Katie six miles in the opposite direction of the town to get ready at her friends house for a night out clubbing even though she was already ready (dont ask) I was overtaken whilst approaching a village with a speed limit of 30mph. There were traffic lights turning to red less than 100 metres ahead of us. What was the point? I think the fact I was a female driving an orange Matiz may have had something to do with it. So, we are in one of my most disliked villages in Oxfordshire (that's another story) having just dropped Kate off and tried to withdraw cash from the village ATM which was broken (much like the villagers faces) and trying to navigate my way down a small road only big enough for one car what with the line of cars parked on the right of me. So this big bolshy silver car pulls round the corner wanting to get past me. "I dont think so mister, I have right of way" were my EXACT thoughts. So i slowed down but continued on my merry way. Much to my utter shock he CARRIED ON! The cheek. And also shaking his head at me which lets face it only infuriated me even more. Not giving up (after the first car related incident) I ploughed through and made it! yay go me... But jeezhoo was I mad. I think I've finally reached the point, after nearly three years of driving the novelty has finally worn off. I think I hate it. I think I hate it so much that I am thinking about asking for a hand gun to store in the glove compartmentfor my 21st birthday (which is in a week if youre asking). There's only one thing for it. I will have to win the lottery and pay someone to drive me around everywhere. It is the only option left that will not end in me with a thirty year sentence for murder.<br /><br />xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-3298839320893878552010-05-20T11:56:00.000-07:002010-05-20T12:07:58.067-07:00False Starts & Fake Tan<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXKduukuzIR8HxmlH-8sPaQyAg9y8Uc-WG6o6ZK2-V4KLpGW16SoNzFPQCdMSE7XuLVCV6ekJ9Nw0fd1hrfbLU2DxmRJ42LMcIlH56c6X2u3HsNFA7fL15pHC_My1YW-XwDN4pbRhYvfk/s1600/swear.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 101px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXKduukuzIR8HxmlH-8sPaQyAg9y8Uc-WG6o6ZK2-V4KLpGW16SoNzFPQCdMSE7XuLVCV6ekJ9Nw0fd1hrfbLU2DxmRJ42LMcIlH56c6X2u3HsNFA7fL15pHC_My1YW-XwDN4pbRhYvfk/s200/swear.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473430977764947826" /></a><br />"Well you can fuck off". The first words spoken to me by a child today. I made no eye contact and did nothing to provoke him. I dont think it was wise for the teacher to announce my arrival to the class by ordering me to sit next to the most notoriously naughty boy in the whole school. I sort of expected his reaction. The whole lesson was a disaster with the whole class wound up to the point of exploding. The worst thing about this is that the class were the most adorable bunch of year sevens when I worked there last. They'd follow me around at break time and hang on my every word. Now all the girls are covered in makeup and are way too cool to acknowledge me. How upsetting! Life goes on...<br /><br />The little ones are still lovely though, I'm sure it's because they've not been tainted by the appalling English education system. I dont know much but what I do know is its a bloody struggle for these kids. I struggled, so did my sis and a lot of people I know. It breaks my heart to see it still happeneing to lovely kids that deserve better. Its a phase everyone goes through however and has got to be done. Who ever said your school days are the best of your life was not on the same planet as everyone else!<br /><br />Hopefully tommorrow will improve, but with the temperatures apparently soaring I'm guessing it's going to send the kids and teachers alike bloody mental!<br /><br />Ciao for now. xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-20710658868455722292010-05-18T11:56:00.000-07:002010-05-27T12:59:11.851-07:00Gassy Kids & Old Acquaintances<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgitKpfJtwIc0dbs8LcNSsgggh9B8CEc7COxZnvIXc9RzO8YD3OFs5FJqDRn2Ydg8jUVMiAjsmL-Pv3gXXU7G6ZPm3D3FnNYwSggUp8x-CbalxJfZoiNlfna1ZPdFCm22pfD3nhfbbDqX0/s1600/teacher.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 191px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgitKpfJtwIc0dbs8LcNSsgggh9B8CEc7COxZnvIXc9RzO8YD3OFs5FJqDRn2Ydg8jUVMiAjsmL-Pv3gXXU7G6ZPm3D3FnNYwSggUp8x-CbalxJfZoiNlfna1ZPdFCm22pfD3nhfbbDqX0/s200/teacher.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472693086542082018" /></a><br />Hi guys and dolls!<br />Sorry it's taken me so long to get on here, it's been a wee bit busy for me.<br />I finally finished my assignments and handed those buggers in. I'm now typing to you from glorious Banbury, "as many canals as..." well Banbury.<br /><br />This blog will now be magically transformed into a daily / nearly daily account of my day but it will sound slightly different. Dear readers I have got myself into a situation. As a student and because of bloody Adele the Dell I am as skint as a racoon living in the pocket of a tramp. This is a problem. I want a tan this year and it sure as hell aint gonna be happening in Banbury (the canal water doesnt stick to you the same as salty sea water)so obviously I need to get closest to the sun as possible. To earn some money to go on my adventures I am back working as a teaching assistant at my old secondary school again! In case you didnt know, this is how I spent my gap year before I decided I was mental and was going to University. Rash decision but glad I made it!<br /><br />So now this blog will be from me.. Miss Lelli!<br /><br />I hope you enjoy it, it will only be runnning til the end of July when I finish. I genuinely love this job and I always have lots of different tales to tell from my day which I'm sure you'll find just as amusing as me because.. well.. kids do say the funniest, weirdest and most outlandish things!<br /><br />Right now my head is thumping but tommorrow will be my first instalment from the school..<br /><br />Good night and sweet dreams from Miss (in the LEAST creepiest way)xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-41173174586835797222010-05-10T06:36:00.000-07:002010-05-10T06:46:24.890-07:00World Domination & Fat Fish<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMR-ibvIxHUCJyvFeCmg0EgQ5fIfXxmWRsaRYm6PE6KxWU8E0PELPNaKDnRS7J68DNs-yHS1V0JIxJFKyJQPclM7CarYY1mh0RGAFNd8Ydm5uiq_smVnX5N50P4RlM-W-jGSk6injK8LI/s1600/superslimme460.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMR-ibvIxHUCJyvFeCmg0EgQ5fIfXxmWRsaRYm6PE6KxWU8E0PELPNaKDnRS7J68DNs-yHS1V0JIxJFKyJQPclM7CarYY1mh0RGAFNd8Ydm5uiq_smVnX5N50P4RlM-W-jGSk6injK8LI/s200/superslimme460.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5469636897396985570" /></a><br />Afternoon!<br /><br />I'm finally on my way to finishing my assignments wheeey! It's just the writing critique now where I have to justify why I wrote my autobiography the way I did.. hmm should be interesting seeing as I just. Did. It! Maybe when I'm a famous writer and die, people will analyse my writing so they can tell me (in the beyond) why I wrote what I wrote because I sure dont have the foggiest!<br /><br />I've also pulled my proverbial finger out of my proverbial arse and got a little something published on <a href="http://spaghettijunct.wordpress.com/">Spaghetti Junction Magazine's blog</a> look my name is on it and everything.:)I will also be writing for the actual magazine after the summer hols so watch this space! I am excited although a little annoyed at myself for me taking two years to gain enough confidence to do it! Better late than never... I am one step closer to being Dawn Porter!<br /><br />Not much more news really... One of Chris' fish is getting pretty beefy, I will have to keep an eye on him or it will be killed with kindness!<br /><br />Ciao for now!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-11813754487568645252010-05-06T13:12:00.000-07:002010-05-06T13:29:18.892-07:00Haircuts & Runny noses<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMA8UllyTl2Kf7ry1AhMUM2ZyGxBwVujMYv9R2vkFggOf3l673ANxK419lkXbMo8xyBhLNLbIRcLhTf93gQGsGaWyVpC9ONnsoUbvT6nA9c2oHsr1fG6uaqXcQDkHemzjtJ8KRBBHi2uU/s1600/runny-nose.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMA8UllyTl2Kf7ry1AhMUM2ZyGxBwVujMYv9R2vkFggOf3l673ANxK419lkXbMo8xyBhLNLbIRcLhTf93gQGsGaWyVpC9ONnsoUbvT6nA9c2oHsr1fG6uaqXcQDkHemzjtJ8KRBBHi2uU/s200/runny-nose.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468256034324349250" /></a><br />Good evening lovlies!<br /><br />Here I am sat in front of a programme about three autistic brothers with a runny nose and coughy throat. YUM! Wish I had the contraption the lady is flaunting in the <-----picture. Every time I have a cold I dream about a similar gadget. hmph. I will look on Amazon to see if they're on sale yet.<br /><br />Had a haircut yesterday. It was an enjoyable experience apart from the girls fingers stank of fags. It was pretty distracting and although my nose is totally blocked I could still smell it strongely. Ewww not impressed.She did a good job in all fairness though. Trying to grow my hair at the moment but because of constant dying I had to get the split ends chopped off so it looked healthier. I want<a href="http://dawnporter.net/index.html"> Dawn Porter</a>s hair. I love her and would like to be her please. I even put rollers in my fringe like her. Sigh.<br /><br />Not feeling fabulous but thank goodness I have got an extension on my work due to the Germany palava. Still got a week to do one essay so it should all be dandy. Im going to get Gen's hot water bottle and snuggle up and take mental notes on this autistic programme for when I start back as a teaching assistant in a week. I also take mental notes for when I have children, I do this with super nanny also so I will be the best Mum EVER! (Weird I know...) ANYWAY my coughing is driving me nuts so better go before my whole screen is covered in spit...<br /><br />Night!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-71719778339065200242010-05-02T09:18:00.001-07:002010-05-02T10:06:24.121-07:00Thin as Water & Cutting Ties<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitcdINbAdtYFdSRakkWfMp0WDnr8YP-N13XyvYBcK23HDsQfAgpQloKmeDZdLfY9gQ3NTnOfMkoIwbIRPCG0NXPKXU91nc6gUqN_IRxApkT69OWhyphenhyphen6BkeKm1KD-5lMbAl7o7MapRkFNIE/s1600/stork-baby.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 169px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitcdINbAdtYFdSRakkWfMp0WDnr8YP-N13XyvYBcK23HDsQfAgpQloKmeDZdLfY9gQ3NTnOfMkoIwbIRPCG0NXPKXU91nc6gUqN_IRxApkT69OWhyphenhyphen6BkeKm1KD-5lMbAl7o7MapRkFNIE/s200/stork-baby.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466708073317483778" /></a><br /><p> Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse<br /><br />They fuck you up, your mum and dad.<br /> They may not mean to, but they do.<br />They fill you with the faults they had<br /> And add some extra, just for you.<br /><br />But they were fucked up in their turn<br /> By fools in old-style hats and coats,<br />Who half the time were soppy-stern<br /> And half at one another's throats.<br /><br />Man hands on misery to man.<br /> It deepens like a coastal shelf.<br />Get out as early as you can,<br /> And don't have any kids yourself.<br /><br /><br />Family eh? Just when you think everything is just dandy something always pops up to poop on your parade. The love of a mother for her child is meant to be unconditional. Understandable since she chose to have the child right? But is the love from the child to it’s mother/father unconditional? You didn't ask to be born did you? What have you got to be thankful for? Why are parental relationships so complicated? I wish they could just stay the same as when you're a toddler. You scream the house down because you want to wear your navy corduroy dress every day with the red, yellow and green button (yes, okay that was me) and your mum decides whether you can or not. Simple hey? Realising you parents are only human is probably one of the weirdest moments in life. I think kids that have had parents divorce at a young age may have seen this earlier on? For me, this realisation came rather late! But if one of your parents hurts you in anyway, one of the most distressing ways not giving a flying toss about you, do you have a  right to disconnect yourself guilt  free from them?  If their love is unconditional. they will surely come crawling back at some point? If your love <em>is</em> conditional, it is purely by chance that you maybe haven't given up completely on them yet… I think maybe some parents need to realise that the love from their children is very fragile, and if they keep hurting them, until respect is lost completely, and the child manages to live a happy life without feeling an ounce of regret or guilt, they will  lose them forever.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-665920216064159922010-05-01T13:47:00.001-07:002010-05-02T06:52:59.383-07:00Family fun and Phone protectors<p> </p> <p>Hey there handsome! happen you to see the new <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE">Old Spice</a> advertisement? I owe this discovery to a course mate for showing us. have a watch… Now, is that NOT hilarious? <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_fRXGinSXYac/S9yX8n6_QcI/AAAAAAAAAGE/iPnfewSv1wE/s1600-h/we-hate-skype%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="we-hate-skype" border="0" alt="we-hate-skype" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_fRXGinSXYac/S9yX9MexnSI/AAAAAAAAAGI/teXCqCfx-1o/we-hate-skype_thumb%5B1%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="181" /></a> I love everything about it, it’s just so funny and who ever thought that one up in the office deserves a good ass kissing from the boss! If they succeed in making Old Spice popular within the modern man sphere I will be very surprised. we all know how powerful adverts can be though, so watch out for the spicy scent of old pensioner from here on in! Don't say I didn't  warn you…</p> <p>Just been having a skype conversation with Ma and Katie. Much joviality was had by all. There’s something weird about a video convo with two people your so used to seeing the the flesh! I bought two of the same phone cases from Ebay (don't get me started on frigging Ebay, I’ve had it with those guys!) and wanted to give the spare to Kate. i held it up to the camera to which she straight away said “What a friggin eye sore” so I guess I will be having a spare case until some one is as dumb as me to take it off of my hands. I wont lie to you, it’s pretty gross. but it does the job hey!</p> <p>I like to do this thing on Skype where I pretend the screen has frozen but actually I’m just staying REALLY still. It’s funny, you should try it! </p> <p> </p> <p>God I’m tired, been to Peacocks today and everything so feeling pretty bushed! Night night world :) xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-40177642054301241312010-04-30T15:14:00.001-07:002010-04-30T15:14:15.092-07:00Greetings from Adele!<p>Hi again just discovered a blog writing programme on here! It spell checks and everything : I love my laptop. she is called Adele :) </p> <p> </p> <p>Night night x</p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-23698256634428818492010-04-30T11:44:00.000-07:002010-04-30T11:47:29.735-07:00Positive thinking & Empty purses<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX_XxepwaXvDmyMJjFDUzHRDZaCgR4jb7-IVrq6g73quLkdpDOfrL2wwOcGkhxVfUjdcPSy3TOu204eb4htXTIYsYlTVJEF4grpL7nHJpOz2E57FRTXSTffH2UaMU6ySs1VtqpD23vRKY/s1600/happy%2520face%2520laptop%2520horizontal%2520edited.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 187px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX_XxepwaXvDmyMJjFDUzHRDZaCgR4jb7-IVrq6g73quLkdpDOfrL2wwOcGkhxVfUjdcPSy3TOu204eb4htXTIYsYlTVJEF4grpL7nHJpOz2E57FRTXSTffH2UaMU6ySs1VtqpD23vRKY/s200/happy%2520face%2520laptop%2520horizontal%2520edited.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466003705417567922" /></a><br />Good evening voyeuristic readers of Blogdom.<br />I hope you’re sat down for this unbelievable news... i am typing this message to you from the comfort of my bed... yes. That’s right I have FINALLY bought a lap top! DUN DUNDDUUUUN! This may seem like a speck in the ocean of technology and I’m sure i am the odd one out here. It is a rather big deal for me though. I arrived at university on my first day and was branded a hippy because the only electrical item i bought with me was my radio. Looking back, i suppose it was rather strange seeing as everyone had TVs and lap tops and some even computer consoles. I have gradually built up my collection of technology and today made that final leap into Laptop Kingdom. And daym don’t it feel good! I feel like a proper student and all that. Weirdly its easier to write and I’m going to be one of those annoying people that takes their laptop to Pret and looks longingly at it googling French poetry and the like. I will keep you posted with computer related mishaps of which there are bound to be many. Oh. Did i mention it is also cherry red? B.E.A.Utiful! so now I have a new phone and computer and I can actually link them up and my phone doubles as an MP3 player (something which i didn’t own before also) so looks like I’m sorted for the foreseeable future! Better get these keys burning, it’s just me and the fish tonight so a perfect opportunity to do work a plenty!<br /><br />Peace out technogeeks Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-85583682844219381052010-04-28T08:12:00.000-07:002010-04-28T08:39:38.291-07:00Fish Food and Celeb Spotting<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOnwvUHHRw7Mq0QevnjpNmJ1oFvs4yiQpP_MfMBysaAJtA-ws0NJHRTcyZwXiE4p9IRUmh9Pi2FLHLuR7YnE_exyZ4sFXSpfbNPNH0roh6P08Ap7LAHyV9_tiQ6renwxePqP8FdmuW1oM/s1600/_38081887_amos_150.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOnwvUHHRw7Mq0QevnjpNmJ1oFvs4yiQpP_MfMBysaAJtA-ws0NJHRTcyZwXiE4p9IRUmh9Pi2FLHLuR7YnE_exyZ4sFXSpfbNPNH0roh6P08Ap7LAHyV9_tiQ6renwxePqP8FdmuW1oM/s200/_38081887_amos_150.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5465213418352612146" /></a><br />Hello world!<br />Well been back in the UK now for four days and I haven’t touched my assignments yet... oops! Just been way to busy with birthdays and things! We now have a very large fish tank in our room. I thought it’d be the perfect present for Chris, which it is, but the tank is a massive 30 litre Biorb! We’ve got four little fish settling in at the moment and they’re very cute. It’s nice to have a bit of life in the room anyway, I miss having a pet here.<br />I finally succumbed to buying a new mobile phone today. I’d been using my housemate’s old one after the phone smashing incident previously mentioned and its finally given up and keeps telling me the wrong dates and deleting my messages naughty phone! So I ended up forking out fifty five quid on a LG cookie phone. It’s purple and rather snazzy if I do say so myself... I’ve spent this afternoon playing with it and discovering what all the buttons do. It’s flipping confusing but I have worked out how to send texts and take photos which is a proud moment!<br />Last night my dreams came true. Me, Gen and Kirsten trekked to Laaaandaan to see the fabulous Shooting Stars filmed. The audience tickets are free and it was so worth the little trip. We basically had a free lesson in laughing. Never have a felt so weird laughing... the guy came on to warm us up (not us three personally or physically) but to warm up the crowd. He had us practising laughing. We had a belly laugh, titter and a chortle. Very strange indeed. Especially sitting in the middle of the front row, I felt rather exposed!<br />Watching the actual show in action though was just great. I was overwhelmed at seeing Simon King one of the Hairy Bikers in real life. He is so funny and it was difficult to resist temptation to jump over the barrier and give him a big hearty hug. He was on Ulrika Johnson’s team and my goodness is she looking haggard, the old bat. She ambled out, probably a size 4 (UK) if that and made a huge show of pulling her jeans up which we falling off of her scrawny frame. Blurgh, it was a sight for sore eyes. All she did was sit pulling idiotic faces all night and having the piss ripped out of her by Vic and Bob. Which I enjoyed immensely obviously. Jack Dee was also there, very short little grumpy man. It was great but it exposed how unglamorous showbiz is. It’s a long process and the set so cheap and wobbly. Its helping me gets over my tendency to get star struck to easily by seeing more famous people. A couple of years ago I got star struck at seeing Patricia Amos in town. She was the first woman to be imprisoned for not sending her kids to school.<br /><br />On that note BYE!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2029186880496409518.post-77573950587428756422010-04-25T14:03:00.000-07:002010-04-25T14:05:48.379-07:00Baskets of flowers & Birthday wishes<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlaP7-3vVxbtGI8pr4NIoaTUmFA5W4CARtsIfL9i2qITiomtRX5MkhNfH1EMuHPPt9zdp3gtTWQpvJ-Lr4UWL_IVfeMedBy43ZAO5p3TvS6EEPLXhJKnYSzMnr2wLWVsB5lNfolzwOnII/s1600/gazelle-bike1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlaP7-3vVxbtGI8pr4NIoaTUmFA5W4CARtsIfL9i2qITiomtRX5MkhNfH1EMuHPPt9zdp3gtTWQpvJ-Lr4UWL_IVfeMedBy43ZAO5p3TvS6EEPLXhJKnYSzMnr2wLWVsB5lNfolzwOnII/s200/gazelle-bike1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5464184270701032226" /></a><br />God, how lazy am I with this bloggy blog?? VERY. Terribly sorry, I returned from Deutschland over a week late. I won’t lie to you, I wasn’t that gutted about it. If I’m honest, countries like Germany and Holland have never been at the top of my wish list. I’m not a complete philistine; I was interested, but not completely overwhelmed like a kid going to Disneyland (which I can only imagine as I was never taken to Disneyland... child neglect!) I am happy to say I was more than pleasantly surprised, I absolutely adore Germany (and Holland). We stayed with Mike and Linda (Chris’ Brother and sister in law) right on the boarders of Belgium, Holland and Germany which gave us easy access to all three. Fabulous I say! Germany is dead chilled, and with a bakery on ever corner, what’s not to like? Only downfall was spending our planned budget completely in the week we were there. Then when we got stranded we had to withdraw money and eat all of the cakes we’d bought because they’d go all skanky... that’s how we convinced ourselves to eat them all anyway...<br />I have a new mission in life. I want a bike. With a basket. In the basket will always be newly picked flowers and a freshly baked loaf of bread. I will ride my bike around the cities of Holland all day long pleasuring people with my waft of bread as I float by, my long skirt falling and flowing behind me as I ride past with a look of nostalgic, Enid Blyton contentment on my fresh, rosy face. Ahem. One day...<br />I have come back fresh faced and feeling positive. It was a lovely long break, a getaway from Birmingham which can sometimes be stifling. Mike and Linda are just lovely and I am happy to have gained new friends. Although across that teeny strip of water we will hopefully see a lot more of them.<br /><br />My last little story from my journey afar will be one of my favourite things from the entire trip. We went to Cologne to get our flight. It was at seven so we put our cases in lockers at the airport (before we knew about the cancellations) and explored the city. Now it is the bridge across the river Rhine which I am so in awe about. It is a huuuuge bridge and is built with a sort of mesh wire running about shoulder high the entire length of the bridge. Attached to the mesh are hundreds and hundreds of padlocks and ribbons where friends and lovers, husbands and wives have secured an engraved padlock to the bridge with their names and declarations of affection and adoration are literally locked forever to the great structure. It was quite a sight and one of my favourite moments. Not wanting to be left out (but not having a spare padlock to hand) Chris and I tied a pink ribbon to the bridge. I love the romance and randomness of it all. Just love it!<br /><br />I’ll leave you with that for now, I have many tales but I feel I must catch up on sleep. It is Chris’ 21st birthday tomorrow. He is planning on getting up at 6.30 am and I’m still knackered from travelling (the Eurostar, which by the way is amazingly efficient you MUST try it!) so I feel that bedtime is nigh.<br /><br />Goodnight!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1